So I've had another installment of "This is not what I had in mind" in the works for, quite literally, months, but due to my crazy schedule and/or debilitating laziness, that post probably won't see the light of day...ever. Or perhaps if I hit an inspired streak, an optimistic someday.
Instead, I have decided to begin publishing selections from my very own, personal quotebook (no, this is NOT supposed to be one word, but I have made it so). Throughout my childhood and adolescence, I have always carried some variation of a quotebook with me at all times. Whether spiral-bound, composition, sketchbook, or tiny notes in a margin, I have somewhere kept track of the more amusing or insightful things I see and hear. The current edition happens to be a small Moleskine that I purchased particularly for quote-taking; it dates from August 18, 2010 to the present, and will, sadly, soon require replacing.
Here are some highlights (up to October) that I believe do not require extensive background or illumination:
"...he is mischievous in proportion to his cleverness."
From the Allegory of the Cave.
"Just so you know, you sound like a fortune cookie."
"The harder I work, the luckier I get."
My current philosophy on life.
"Quit harvesting me with your eyes!"
in re. Bart viewing Homer as an organ donor.
"When I woke up this morning...wait - just kidding - I never went to bed."
Almost everything Miss Milton says is quotable.
"'I'm going speed dating.'
'You mean you're dating on meth?'"
"Oh, monsters, why did I create you?"
Easily my most favorite television show.
"'So I've been thinking about dead cats-'
'That doesn't sound like a good use of your time.'"
"Andrew was going to introduce me to a Rat Pack...they must be extraordinary rodents."
Besides being a decent crime show, my favorite part about Bones is Brennan's hilarious, out-of-context comments and quips.
"E lascia pur grattar dov'è la rogha (And let them go ahead and scratch where it itches)!"
-Dante, The Inferno
It's nice to know that even Dante could throw some humor in there.
"If this seems disjointed, that's because it is. You're not imagining it."
Everything seemed to be falling apart, technology in particular, for Mr. Bone in a lecture that Monday morning.
"How I'd love to get you on my couch."
Only Anthony Hopkins can make a psychiatry joke so twisted.
"I read them [Twilight novels] because they're entertaining in the way that a car crash is entertaining."
"My family has a psychiatrist on call. How normal can I be?"
"I'm fit as a fucking fiddle."
"I'm pulling out the 'dead mom' card."
"If you're going to hell, you might as well go with your friends!"
This is said cheerfully as more gummy bears are lit on fire in a chemistry demonstration.
Check back later for another installment of hysterical and insightful quotes from my senior year.